a good day

today was a great day despite the fact that we are starting to get sick. Deric was really good for a change and that made it a good day for all of us. Deric was really missing his dad at bedtime prayers though and started to cry. I do my best to console him and answer his questions, but tonight I just had to tell him he needed to ask dad for answers.

As for me I have to work on my faith more and put my trust and energy into Jesus instead of worrying about being lonely. I am just going to get myself hurt or in trouble if I continue on this path. I am still in love with Dave and I find myself still wanting to do things for him and be with him and cant seem to get away from that feeling no matter how rotten and indifferent he seems to treat me. Somewhere deep down I am still hoping he snaps out of whatever funk he is in and becomes the man he should be for his family. I do pray for him all the time and wonder if I am praying for the right thing.

anger issues

so, Deric has been pretty manageable on his new meds except for the anger issue, we had a rough night the other night when he punched one of the child care workers at our parent support group, ugh. will things ever be somewhat normal??

Gavin is in the midst of potty training, doing well on some days. but still has no interest in really using the potty.

Katie just got her progress report and is failing just about everything and did horrible on her midterms.

As for me, I am trying really hard to keep my faith and not just give up. I am lonely and wanting Dave to just touch me, come back,  be a father but know deep down that that is probably not going to happen no matter how long I wait. 


I feel like a failure as I have lost my car, husband and now am going to lose my house and the one place where Deric is relatively stable. what am I going to do if I lose the house too.